Do No Harm

I’m… I’m scared to say it.

But I think I’m finally ready to give this whole “recovery” thing a try.

I’ve always half-assed the stopping self-harm thing. Kinda shrugged, said sure, whatever. Glided by with my therapist, occasionally didn’t mention that I slipped up.

Yeah I was scared after I cut my wrist wide open, and that slowed me down. And then other things slowed me down, like my boyfriend who said I had to stop but it had to be for “me” (which I said it was- mostly a lie). Or my Hawaii trip where I wanted to wear shorts without fresh scars.

But today… maybe it is the little bit of alcohol in my blood…

But I feel like… I should give it a shot.

I just hope I don’t change my mind.

Because the ink I put in my skin today?

“Do no harm… Have no fear.”

It has a lot of meaning to it.

But it is pretty straight forward.

“Do no harm,” that applies to myself as well.

And maybe I should give it a try.

3/25/15 is the day then.

“Have no fear.”

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I'm a 22 year old college student with aspirations too high for my own good. I've been diagnosed bipolar type 1 and have a small gathering of other problems like self-harm, anxiety, and ones I don't talk about (yet). I'm the proud owner of a big and rambunctious kitten. I love to write, I live with my parents, and I always seem to be having some sort of mental flare up.