I think we’ve all done it. The smiling through our tears. Putting on a facade that we are happy even though we are miserable inside. I do that a lot. I don’t want people to worry. Sometimes, I can’t help it. It would frighten my children when I would cry for no reason so I got better at hiding my feelings.
But, other times, I tell people how I am feeling. But, I still have the smile. I can laugh at a joke after I told them I was contemplating suicide. They don’t take me seriously because my words don’t match my affect.
So, sometimes I am hiding and sometimes I am not believed because I am scared to show outside how I feel inside. It seems better to cry inside than to shed actual tears.